I DON'T write Theory; I write FUN and CONVINCING

So, it has come to my attention this hilarious distinction of certain modes of production regarding critical writing or, dare I say, theory. Here's my problem with the word 'theory':

1. Theres no way of removing the loaded definitions of this word while implying or invoking it in your own work i.e. saying you write THEORY and expect to be critical.

2. Theory implies prescriptions for actualization or practical delineation i.e. you tell people what to do, by critiquing something in a specific way.

3. NO one 'says' they write THEORY; people say you WROTE theoretical texts, post-production, i.e. don't be a dick and say you write theory.

I just realized this was written on a hunch and after some discussions with some very well-read colleagues that suspected the same thing about the distinction between 'theory' and criticism. So, here's my provocation for the day, which I just wrote in five minutes. In theory, I think I should spent a bit more time to criticize it, but I don't care enough about a well developed text as much as like one-liner jokes, which WRITING 'THEORY' does not.