Sunday, January 31, 2010
As I wake up every morning, my lingering thoughts from the night before rip at me for about 10 minutes at a time. I eventually get out of bed and go to the bathroom, wash my face, brush and floss my teeth, and comb my hair. In this time, I either continue ruminating and drive to school/work, or I change my mind. I have been changing my mind more the past few days. My days have been filled with friends, music, architecture, and good food. It's surprising how nice things can make the difference. I do sit here in my room, feeling mildly anxious, but definitely in control of it. The last few weeks have been a blur of emotions at the speed of light, and yet I still feel oddly optimistic. I always miss things the way they were but I am not sure why. Familiarity is my guess. So the way I combat this active melancholy and nostalgia is through activity in my daily life. Getting reacquainted with myself is not easy because although I know myself, I never give myself the chance to find out how much I have to offer or who I am, outside of everything that supposedly defines me. This is my first point, in changing. This is why I fill my days.